Whole Lotta Love.

Hello, I miss you quite terribly.

Since I've been gone for so long, I figured I'd go forever.
Find me if you can.

Now the hangovers are worse.

You think you're loving, but you don't love me.

Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?
Why is this happening to me ?

I swore this wouldn't happen again, but apprarently, it did. I told myself not to let this happen, but it happened again. I try to get angry, I try to think, I try to stop. Well, now, look who's a failure. Keep on thinking while you still can; before O Levels and that dickhead gets rid of your brain.

Just cry for a whilte more.
Maybe things will get better.

I swear it won't.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Her tears like diamonds on the floor.

I guess I don't have to worry about what you say about me anymore, because I really don't care. I am who I am; and that's what I love, regardless of what you say. He isn't complaining, so why should you ?

The first day of September. I know because the church bells rang at twelve in the afternoon, just like they always do at twelve in the afternoon on the first day of every month.

Watch my hands freeze.

Now the hangovers are worse.

No you can't read my poker face.

I seriously am gonna go on hiatus. I've been on hiatus for so long anyway, what difference does it make ! Haha.

Prelims in eight daysssssssssssss.
I am sleepy.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Beauty queen of only eighteen.

Evidently, I have not posted since 18th July 2009; and with good reason, I might add. Obviously, I have been studying ! So instead of whining about how dead my blog is, maybe awe at the fact that I might possibly be working hard towards O Levels.

Nevertheless, under Weiqing's demand, she insists that I revive this blog of mine that nobody understands anywayyyyyy. Therefore, I am.

But really, life is getting mundane; all I ever do is go to school, study, get home, golf, study somemore, sleep. It's worse than a cycle, if you didn't know. It's more of a constant cycle which is physically and mentally tiring. But I am still healthy and strong.

Hahahhahahaa, sleepy girl equals boring blog post.

Now the hangovers are worse.

California, rest in peace.

Confirmation, 18th July 2009.
Xoxo.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Darling, you look wonderful tonight.

If you asked me to, I'd stop breathing for one more second.
If you asked me to, I'd hold my breath underwater for you.
If you asked me to, I'd let go and pray we're safe.
If you asked me to, I'd crash and hope you're there for me to hold.
If you asked me to, I would.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
There is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

Storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free.
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love.

And so a piece of perfection fell from the sky.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Oh it gives you hell.

The last weekday before school reopens, ohmygawd. How the youth of today suffer under the heavy loads that strain their fragile backs and immature minds. Homework is killing me, as in I think it would kill me if I actually did it, heh. The mountain load of dead trees fluttering around my house as the wind blows it around, making my house a huge pile of mess. Due to the lack of fluids in my brain, here is my life in point form.

- Woke up at eightthirty instead of the intended eight.
- Showered, changed, tied my hair, ate breakfast.
- Ripped dance vids off YouTube.
- Pranced over to school.
- Painted.
- Yellow splat on my leg.
- Attempt to pick up D. Dyzunktional Smith's choreo.
- All hail Wade Robson's It Was All In Your Mind.
- Paint, dance, paint, dance.
- Hoedown throwdown.
- Walked out with Cassie.

- Got home, showered, ate.
- Nigel popped overrrrrrrr and stole my fried rice.
- And my orange juice.
- And attempted to talk to my nainai.
- Caught the bus and train to Newton.
- Caught the bus from there to Great World City.
- Met the others at the cinema.
- Nigel was whining about not being to watch Hannah Montana.
- Waiting an hour for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
- Hung out on kiddy rides.
- Here comes Phoebe.
- Marc and Phoebe and Shermin.
- Shermin runs away.
- Transformers was dabombbbbbbbb.
- Sat with buddy !
- Zara with buddy after movie to get something for his brother.
- Dinner after movie.
- Hung around for a while.
- Shermin left with her parents.
- Joey left in a cab.
- Marc and Phoebe left with Phoebe's parents.
- Tian, Nigel, Princeton and I headed home via public transport.
- Poor kids like us sit public transport.
- Sat the bus to Newton MRT.
- Nigel and Princeton took the bus back from there.
- Sat the train with Tian.
- Ang Mo Kio ness.
- I made it home alive and well.

Lemon juice and popiah is filling.
For twenty minutes.

Now the hangovers are worse.

When you look at me, tell me what do you see.

I am sitting in a freezing aircon, under my nice Spongebob blanket talking to Nigel Tan Jian Hao. He just called me lame. What the hell. I don't know whether Shermin or Phoebe is still awake. Nigel's complaining that Phoebe doesn't reply SMS-es. I am thoroughly. Nigel says, "Shermin is like...don't know what to say." Nigel's still whining about Phoebe not replying his SMS-es. Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. It is now 0058hours. Nigel insists that it is already one. That liarrrrrrrrrrrr. Now it is 0059hours ! "I hate rounding it off !" I like penguins and I am hungry. But I will not eat a penguin. I just found out that Nigel is more random than I am. Tall, silly boy. He wishes to be as rich as Babu. Really really wishes. Nigel is still whining.

I don't want to do stupid summary anymore.
I am so gonna drink orange juice.

Now the hangovers are worse.

It was all in your mind.

It's a crushing little secret,
I refuse to hear.
I don't want to know.
You hate me,
You hate me,
You hate me.
I swear
you hate me.

Still in denial,
Once. Twice.
Stop.
One more time,
You laugh, you smile, you joke, you kid.
You mock, you ridicule, you taunt.
Once. Twice.
Stop.

I don't know.
I don't care.
I don't want to care.
I don't want to pretend to care.

Seventy two miles away,
One year ago.
I'd feel guilty.

So why now.
Why,
You.

Now the hangovers are worse.

I'm so three thousand and eight.

I don't know how this is going to help you, or make you actually know how I'm hating my own guts now, but maybe it'll help me feel better. Do I feel as bad as I did with the other, I definitely don't. But I still have a conscience, and you're one person I never want to let down. I hope you know that. Sorry.

Tournament season is officially over, and I'm really happy that the whole bunch of us are going out tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwww. Amazingly, haha, with the airshot champion and buddy! and Marc Alexander Chua Kai Xuan and Phoebe and Shermin and Joshua and Princeton and Nick and whoever else is coming. I don't know, big group big group big group which would equate to camwhore camwhore camwhore camwhore camwhore. I so need a picture with buddy, and the rest of them really, since I'm gonna be off tourney season for a while, whooboy.

If you're lost without me,
Wondering where I might be,
I'll be waiting just around,
The corner of your eye.

Some part of me loves you more than ever.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

I feel like changing my blog layout, I really do. But sloth and the lack of creative juices forces me to say no to the strange urges that I have. But I really really really want to. But I'm lazy. I'd flip a coin to help me make the decision, but I'm to lazy to get a coin, and I'm too lazy to decide what heads and tails would represent. I'm absolutely amazing, aren't I.

It's amazing how fifteen years old boys can amuse me so horrendously much. Nigel Tan Jian Hao and Marc Alexander Chua Kai Xuan, ohmygoodness. Too tall for their age, and the only thing that is fifteen on them is their maturity. I am thoroughly amused, really I am. Hello there, buddy !

Weiqing called me a bitch, I am sad.
I shall call her a bitch back.
"Bitch !"

Now the hangovers are worse.

Somedays, I couldn't get up.

A. D. O. R. A. B. L. E.
I'm adopting you, haha.

Now the hangovers are worse.

When you see my face.

Due to activities that would be deemed mundane to the rest of the non-golfing world, here is my life in point form:

11th June 2009:
- Happy Birthday Lowies.
- (Omg, I'm suffering from short term memory loss. I don't recall what I did.)
- Ohhhhhh, NSRCC Junior Open First Round.
- Think Shermin, Phoebe & I singing National Day songs while playing.
- To find happiness *clapclapclap* for everyone.
- Hung, ate, cab, home.

12th June 2009:
- NSRCC Junior Open Second Round.
- Played like a cow.
- Hung around for prize presentation.
- Congrats to Kok & Phoebe & Joey & Edgar & Nick & Joshua.
- Hung, then headed to Cini.
- Caught Drag Me To Hell.
- Bloody good movie, like to the max.
- Just the ugliest, most shocking thing I've seen in a very long time.
- I quote Phoebe, "We should have watched Hannah Montana !"
- Delifrancing for dinner at Takashimaya.
- Champion ice-cream scooper.

13th June 2009:
- Woke up late ! For once, hurrah.
- Headed to the range in the afternoon.
- Did short game like mad.
- Showered, dinner, chingchong.
- Happy Birthday NaiNai !

14th June 2009:
- Happy Birthday Yureshhhhhhhh.
- I didn't go to the range !
- Church, then lunch, the Far East shopping, then I really don't remember.

15th June 2009:
- Headed to school for props in the morning.
- Tricked Weiqing into thinking that Mok was at my house.
- Passionfruit Milk Tea haven.
- Ranged & short gamed.
- Hung, home, sleep.
- Chin chow with coke makes me happy.

16th June 2009:
- HSBC Youth Golf Challenge Round One.
- Disgustingly decent game, fifth placing.
- Hung, ate, cabbed, sleep.
- Attempted to watch TiVo.

17th June 2009:
- HSBC Youth Golf Challenge Round Two.
- Best game of my life, thus far.
- Hello fourth placing on count back and a new addition to the trophy collection.
- Hung, ate, prize presentation, cabbed.
- Attempted to sleep until the stupid mobile device on my stomach vibrated with much gusto.
- Went down to Plaza Singapura to catch a movie with Shermin, Phoebe, Nad, Joshua, Marc and Nigel.
- Caught Ghost of Girlfriends Past.
- Matthew McConaughey is sexyyyyyyyyy.
- Attempted to eat.
- Marc Alexander Chua Kai Xuan wanted to go home cause he's whiny that way.
- Grabbed Starbucks.
- MRT-ed home with Shermin & Nigel.
- I am now sitting in front of this computer and blogging about my day.
- Really I am.

And now I'm hungry.
Starbucks is keeping me awake.
Everyone scrunched up their faces after drinking my Ice Chai Tea Latte with Soy Milk.
I am insulted.
I got lost at Dhoby Ghaut MRT.
Nigel too.
I am not the only direction stupid one.
Thai people asked me for direction.
What a mistake.
Now laugh everyone, as we enjoy the funny penguins dance as they waddle from Nigeria to Singapore, wearing party hats on their pointy, black heads.

Really.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Baby, all I need is time.

Sometimes, I love you.
Sometimes, I don't.
Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother.
Sometimes, I see you and I smile.
Sometimes, I want to cry.
Sometimes, I feel happy when I'm with you.
Sometimes, I think I'm scared of you.
Sometimes, I don't know how to react.
Sometimes, I think you hate me.
Sometimes, I think you don't.
Sometimes, I think you love me.
Sometimes, I think you don't.
Sometimes, I wonder what's going to happen.
Sometimes, I question why this started.
Sometimes, I feel like there's another.

(All I really want is to hold you tight.)

Now the hangovers are worse.

Never see another teardrop fall.

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

(Sometimes, I'm scared of you.)

Now the hangovers are worse.

And I thought that I was gonna go crazy.

You're absolutely beautiful but I highly doubt anything would happen. They wouldn't allow it anyway. Even if both of us were agreeable, they wouldn't allow it anyway. Exactly why, they never gave me a reason, and I doubt they would ever give me a reason should it happen again. Nonetheless, I still love you, beautiful.

29th May 2009, with Paul, Bill & Uncle David, came back with a horrific ninetyfour off whites at Orchid, slap me hard on the head when you do see me, won't you ?
30th May 2009, with Daddy and other people that I never figure out, came back with eightyseven off whites at Marina Bay, hello disgustingly decent.
31st May 2009, Monthly Medals with Terence, Thomas and Babu. Ninety off reds at Orchid, I. Am. An. Idiot.
1st June 2009, Triangular, Orchid V Seletar V Warren. Eightyfive off reds at Orchid, kinda stupid and Orchid lost on homeground, haha. I feel like an idiot. And ohmygawd, for the first time in my life, I walked on Orchid Country Club. Congratulate meeeeeeeee. Shermin the idiot.
2nd May 2009, school depresses me when I should have been at SLGA National Rankings.
3rd May 2009, school further depresses me, again, when I should have been at SLGA National Rankings.
4th May 2009, SLGA National Rankingggggsssssssss, why, school, why torment me !?
5th May 2009, training training training.
6th May 2009, short game with Paul. Throw me into a bunker for two hours and watch my hands bleed ! The Pretentious Young Ladies at the Esplanade after was absolutely amazing though; and supper with Prakky made me smile like a doofus who just earned forty billion dollars from staring at a laptop.
7th May 2009, hello another bunker for three hours and watch my fingers bleed ! Again
8th May 2009, HSBC Youth Golf Challenge 2nd Leg first day at Tanah Merah Country Club. Hello bagboyyyyyyyyyyyy xxx. Came back with eightyfour off reds at Tampines Course and a tied seventh position, ugh.
9th May 2009, HSBC Youth Golf Challenge 2nd Leg second day, came back with eightythree off reds at Tampines Course, came back with sixth. By three bloody freakin' shots. Eat me.
10th May 2009, Practice Round at Kranji Sanctuary for NSRCC Junior Open. Bless my broken body and slaughtered soul.

I am dead tired.

Now the hangovers are worse.

To show you how it all began.

Ohmygawd, I haven't posted for like nine days. And I had better do so before Weiqing rips my eyeballs out, squeezes my brains dry, laughs at my corpus luteum, steals my placenta and digs my birth cord out of ground. I'm sure it's buried somewhere in front of the clubhouse where the statue of Kahutia Te Rangi inhabits.

I either really really need a life, or I need to stop being strange. Really, I'd go with the latter. Or maybe I'm not weird, maybe the rest of the world is weird and I'm the only normal human being around. That's why everyone thinks I'm strange when I really am not. In your face, all you strange people of the world ! In your face. Cathleen Wong Su Yin is not strange. She is, in fact, a normal homosapien living on this planet with strange people. I. Swear. Innocence.

I should so be focusing on math, but I'm like eating lemon sorbet and watching Elektra and blogging and texting and doing math at the same time ! And talking to bunny. But bunny's not that distracting. Ohhhhhwell. I am a sleepy girl.

I often need to congratulate and commend people who manage to finish reading my posts, because really, with all the hunkajunkatrash that I write, it's hard to finish reading it and still be thinking like a normal human being. Or maybe because I'm so normal, the person, who is weird, reads it and starts thinking normally !

Ahhhhh. I am a whiz.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Music's in my soul.

Evidently, I caught Camp Rock on Channel Five, haha. I remember the days when people used to think I looked like Joe Jonas, like whatthehell !?

Anywayyyyyyyyy, I haven't posted in like a million years. And really, I don't have much to post about. Life has been mundane and horrendously boring, except for the overload of golf tournaments. Holla.

Now the hangovers are worse.

Oh pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go.

Watching golf into random hours of the night is actually pretty entertaining, especially when you have a lousy, unknown man leading the pack and everyone except him knows that Tiger Woods is going to catch up and thrash him. I hope leader-man chokes on the last day. Making it to Germany when he was nine proves to be a big enough reward. He doesn't need to win The Players' Championships anymore.

Ooh, my parents turned the aircon on. Hurrah for one of the greatest inventions in the world.

Now the hangovers are worse.